Intoxicating fear
by magic is in thy blood
Summary: fear: it's somthing simple that can stun you, smother you, blind you, and sweep you off your feet. fear is so simple it's challenging. fear is an ocean and i am drowning.


It started out in a whisper. No more then the scant smell of brisk ocean on the hollowing wind. Like a gentle hand, it smoothed and hollowed out the ocean, like a piece of dough in the kitchens: too touch to mend but too soft to touch. It was like ice on the eve of a winter storm, when all you want to do is hide out under the blanket of wolves' pelt and sit with you friend in front of a fire.

Then it got hard like a rock. It tossed the waves this way and that. Building momentum as it curdled against the rocks of the seaside cliff and back out again, like a raging horse in the glory of battle. The foam turned dark, haunting, like a boy's mind when he has seen the unforgivable act of treachery in his family, blood running through his hands and to the floor.

It gave a start then, as the wooden boat played in the orchestrated storm, and lightning crashed against the sky. The mass gave a loud groan masking out the distant roll of thunder. The captain of the ship gave a sharp yank; the wheel went to the right, nearly missing the rocky formation that seemed to come out of nowhere.

He winced as he saw his beloved crew get eaten up by the ocean's unwelcoming arms, but there was nothing he could do. Then a sound gave way, like that of a faint whistle of a child's toy. He spun around and yelled when he saw the strings to the climbing net fail in the sky. With a run, he jumped over the rail with his arms out stretched, he tackled a person to the ground, and covered them with his hands as the net came down on the starboard side, the crows nest with it.

"We have to get out of here. She'll never it make it with the way the winds are a howling and the sea a churning!" the captain yelled in a poor accent over the storm, his face bloodied with a faint scratch.

"No, we can't leave yet! He's out here somewhere I can feel it! Please, it was all my fault…I can't just leave him!" the person under him wailed as he got to his legs. The ship gave a pull and he fell against the railing, staring out into the sea.

"We will meet our death out here, boy!" he said not caring if he was speaking to the bloody king or a simple beggar child.

"I said we will keep looking! He can't be far out. He can't be. We have enough men to search the bank and back if we must."

The captain narrowed his eyes and a curse sat on the tip of his tongue. He just shook his head and walked back to the wheel that had somehow survived so far. He only had a few men left and those men were just now greeting their sea legs.

But he couldn't refuse the prince of Camelot. Oh no. Not if he valued his life, of course. The boy would be the cause of their deaths, all because he was looking for the big-eared boy called Merlin. Though not even the captain could refused to acknowledge the hidden relationship between the two and now he knew what it was:

One can never leave a friend out to sea in this blasted hell. His father taught him that, so he would obey the prince and get himself killed in the process.

"Look over there!" Arthur shouted with a point to the cliffs.

*break line*

**One hour earlier**

"Why in the bloody hell are we on this ship again, Merlin?" Arthur asked his servant and friend.

He was setting on a wooden barrel that stunk like rotten fish. To his right _was_ a net with fish in it and, to his left, a mess of assorted items and crewmembers giving them odd looks.

Merlin was laid out with his head against a bundle of rope, his body curved out to the sun that made to hide out of sight occasionally as clouds fluttered in. He opened one eye and managed to roll it.

"Because someone with the equality of a prat suggested I pay gold to a captain docked in the lower town, so the said pat could take a boat ride and get away from the castle for awhile, because said prat was tired of his father haggling on at him about this and that."

"One, I am not a prat. Two, did you have to have to pick the poorest boat, and a _fishing_ boat at that? Three, I did not want to take a boat ride because of my father haggling. I left because I wanted to see how your sea legs were. Who knows, I might get a good laugh?" Arthur said while he ticked off each fingers.

Merlin sat up from the rope buddle and glared at the prince who smirked and looked away. Arthur could see the many men, big and strong men, walk their way through the ship and doing many tasks. He knocked his head to the side as one man hauled a rope over the side and tied it to a pole. He waved his hands upwards and Arthur saw, to his amusement, that a man was up there. The man called something down in sailor tongue and the other man laughed.

"Oi, Merlin," he whispered to his servant.

"What now?"

Arthur got to his feet, brushed grime off his shirt, and straightened his sword sheath. The sun reflected off it before it hid again. He cast his eyes upwards and saw that a wall of clouds had begun to build.

"Climb that crows nest, will you."

That got Merlin attention. He struggled to his feet and cast a weary gaze to the high, bucket like, nest. He watched it sway in the breeze as a man climbed off it. He looked to Arthur who raised his eyebrows.

"No."

Arthur crossed his arms. He was used to Merlin complaints about things, but he never got an outright no. he didn't like this, this boldness from his lanky companion, so he nodded his head.

"Merlin, climb the crows nest." He ordered again.

"No, I won't, and why do you want me to any ways?" Merlin sniped back.

Arthur shrugged his shoulders and then as if processing what he had said, stilled. He gave Merlin an over looked glance and then grabbed his arm, pulling him along.

"'cause I am your prince and you will obey me, Merlin. I think it looks quite amusing if you ask me. What, are you afraid of heights?"

Merlin shifted on his foot, looked up over the sea, before quickly adverting his gaze. "No, I am not afraid of heights."

He wasn't either. He always scaled the heights of Camelot at night to see the beautiful stars in the sky or when he had to save Arthur's arse for example, when he let out a rage of killer wasp that wanted to take control of the kingdom. He suppressed a shudder at that.

"Well then. Come on then go, servant." Arthur snapped to him and pushed him to it as a gruff sailor went by. Merlin sighed; why must they put up an appearance any time they were around someone, as if they couldn't be friends.

Because they mimic you or worse if they found out, he thought bristly.

"What do you boys think you be up to?" said an old voice. It was like wood on a sword blade.

They turned around and saw a man older than stone looking back at them. His face was a maze of wrinkles and lines and it seemed to match to the clothes he wore, which were just as frumpy looking. He had a permanent frown as one side of his face was maimed, pulled to the side with a defect.

"We were heading up to the crows nest. I wanted my servant to climb up there, but I will be assisting him. Why do you ask?" Arthur said when he let the façade of shock died off him.

"I ask, your highness, because I am the captain of this 'ere ship. There's a storm brewing and no men, even royal ones, will be a traveling up there." He spat to the floorboards.

Merlin smiled, he liked this man. "Maybe we should do what he says, sire. I don't feel like having my arse missing a chunk 'cause the king decides to chew it out when you go missing out in sea."

The captain laughed and smiled at Merlin, "boy's got some mouth on him, he does!"

Arthur scowled, hit Merlin secretly upside the head, and smiled his princely smile, "that's something I have to work with him on and he better learn soon. I thank you for the warning, but I think we will go up any way."

Arthur pushed Merlin passed and watched him slowly climb up the net rope before he began himself. Damn, and here he though Merlin would be the only one to be doing this! He let his fingers curl in the rope and hauled himself up.

"Tis not a warning, boy" the captain called from below and Arthur felt the first drip of rain on his arm.

Merlin finally got to the top and held his breath as he looked down upon the water, and paled slightly. Hearing Arthur climbing up behind him, he quickly willed it away, and helped him on to the nest. Arthur looked out and smiled.

The ocean was vast and beautiful. It went as far as Arthur could see and that was a long way. He loved the ocean as it represented freedom, at least to him it did. He looked to Merlin who was standing by him and looking up at the sky. He thought nothing of the pale face that Merlin wore.

"Merlin the view is forward not up." Arthur commented.

"I know this. It's about to storm." Merlin said as his eyes trailed the cloud that seemed to be holding its breath.

Arthur sniffed and shrugged his shoulders. He walked forward, making the nest tip a little as he did so. He squatted down and looked at a rope that went from underneath them, out to the pole on a rail, and into the water. That could work, he thought.

"Oi, Merlin, come here." He called and plucked the rope with his fingers. It was sturdy enough. Merlin's shadow blocked his light from the clouds; he could hear thunder a little ways away.

"What?"

Arthur pointed to the rope and then said, "We are going for a swim, Merlin. Here hang on to the rope and go down it, it will lead to the water."

Merlin took a step back and held out his hands, "Are you nuts? That rope might not even hold us!"

"Yeah, well it looks steady," Arthur plucked it with his fingers and looked at a still doubtful Merlin. "Fine you want me to go?"

"No-"

Before he could say it though, Arthur braced the rope with his hands, ignored Merlin's stutters, pushed off, and went down and down, the wind following him, and he jumped off into the water, laughing as he resurfaced.

Merlin cursed at the stupidity and knew he had to go know. He looked to the water and felt sick. He hated water, hated it with a passion. That one time he saved Arthur, when the water lapped at him and goaded him, still crept in on him at night. He had prayed there would not be ship in the harbor with the storm, but he was wrong.

He could see Arthur's tiny form in the water and the crew watching him and Arthur. The storm rumbling across the sky as it threatens to spill. He saw as Arthur climbed back on the ship, and with a yelp pushed himself of the ledge, hitting the water.

All he could see in his vision was Arthur drowning, his magic acting on his fear, allowing him to be able to swim. The water sucking him in and the air leaving him.

Arthur smiled as Merlin jumped in. He was not sure why, but he had a feeling Merlin was hiding something from him, with the way he acted all clingy and hesitant up there. He thought it was the heights, but he wasn't sure. He ignored the captain's yells in his ears and looked for Merlin's head to emerge. It did.

He laughed as Merlin slapped the water like a fish and Arthur clambered to the edge, soaked to the bone. He called Merlin but he continued to slap the water again, his eyes wild with fright. That is when Arthur knew something was wrong.

"Merlin?"

That's when hell broke loose and the waves swallowed Merlin up and the ship spun. Arthur yelled Merlin's name through the wind, but he could not be heard as the storm broke in fury. He clutched the rail and looked, but again saw nothing.

He looked to the captain who was hauling in, "we have to get Merlin!"

"He's lost out there boy, no hope-"

"No, we stay and search, damn it. I will not loose my friend to my stupidity or blindness," he muttered the last to himself. The captain obeyed.

"The waves would take him to the coast." He said to the captain as the winds picked up.

"The water's going to the cliffs."

Arthur gripped the rail, "stupid, stupid. Why didn't you realize he can't swim? Why didn't you see he was scared of water?"

"Oh, Merlin."

*break line*

**Present**

The water grumbled nosily before it leapt over other waves like a game of leapfrog. It settled down to the sea floor pulling things as it did. Lighting hit the water sending invisible currents across it.

Then by some obscene miracle, the waves seemed to part. In the middle was a clear hole, and in that hole was a pale white hand. It waved in the air, trying to reach and a grab on to the frigid air before it was pulled back under. The body was hurled alongside and smashed into the cliffs. The rocks seemed grateful for the body as their sharp teeth held the boy in their grasp.

He stayed still, the boy. The only movement was from the twitch of his arm or the excess water coming from his moth. He was shaken. He hated water for a good reason and now it seemed to have ended whatever strength he had left. The rocks rumbled as thunder charged overhead and he slipped from the rock like teeth, down to the sandy bank.

He was shirtless now and slowly breathing. He tried to talk but his throat was raw as a new born. He heard a voice though. A yell coming at him from across the water. He tried to sit up but could not. What had found him? He thought hazily, was it death calling to him?

His mind flashed with the face of the prince named Arthur and he moaned inwardly. He had failed and failed big time. The yell came again and he heard a moan of what sounded like to be a ship.

He reached far into his soul and alit a bit of magic that sill was there. It soared through his body, into his arms, and then his throat. He felt around on the wet sand before pushing himself up, and gave one single yell his magic could allow.

"HELP, ARTHUR!"

There was a splash in the water then, as it twisted and churned trying to get it's victim back, but it was defeated. He felt hands rolling him over, supporting his head, before he was lifted up. He fell in to abyss as he smiled and saw none other than Arthur Pendragon above him.

"Your safe, Merlin, your safe." Arthur whispered dragging him back to the worn and almost demolished boat. Merlin was thin and weak as he carried him to the chambers the captain gave him. He sat Merlin on the bed and sat across from him.

*break*

Sunlight

It was sunny now. The light brought and filled Arthur with warm hope. Merlin was still asleep but appeared to be awaking. He opened one eye, then another, before becoming fully aware. He fluttered around in the bed and Arthur rushed to stop him.

"Arthur – the water!"

"Shhh it's over, Merlin. Its okay, you are safe. I am so sorry, Merlin. I had no idea any of this was going to happen." Arthur whispered.

Merlin whispered too, "I don't like the water."

"I realize that now, and it must have been terrifying for you. Why didn't you tell me so?"

"Because I didn't want to speak of my fears in hope it would go away. It's intoxicating, fear, it swallows you up much like water. That is why I fear both. You didn't know and you gave me an order, Arthur." Merlin said, while clutching a blanket on the cot much like a child would.

"That's no excuse." Said Arthur upon standing. He was still bedraggled, though his cuts were bandaged, and they were nearing the harbor soon, so he was relived at that notion.

"No, I guess not. I went with my fears because all I could see was you, drowning again, Arthur. That scared me."

Arthur opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but Merlin just smiled his one smile of 'don't worry about it. At least not right now.' Arthur just nodded and sat back down where he watched over Merlin and Merlin was quite content to let him. Merlin was fine and not one bit of mad at his friend.

Arthur knew this and accepted it. His curiosity still there though, within him.

"Arthur …can we just be friends and not care what people think?" asked Merlin when they had walked off the dock, Arthur supporting Merlin.

Arthur stopped and looked around. People were staring at them and they had smirks on their faces.

"Yes, Merlin I think we can."

"Good."

It started out like a whisper….

Wow, I think this is the most I've ever typed before! Well I hoped you liked it. Please drop a review or feel free to comment me on anything. I only ask not to be too harsh!


End file.
